Come walk with me in the peak Autumn beauty of the Northwoods. To say that I love this time of year is an understatement. Most everyone can appreciate the colorful falling leaves---it reveals the 'true self' of a tree when its leaves are no longer producing chlorophyll. Their true colors are revealed, and there is something simple … [Read More...]
The Gift of Affection
Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. –C.S. Lewis
I love gardening. I love raking the flattened fall leaves off the perennial beds after a winter of snow and cold and watching the new shoots rise up out of the warming earth. I love making tiny straight troughs in newly-tilled earth and deliberately placing vegetable seeds in them, covering them, and patting down the soil. I love harvesting the abundant crops that grow from those tiny seeds, marveling each year at the miracle of it all. But gardening can be hard…and messy. Those stubborn sumac roots that creep into our vegetable garden are a pain to pull out. Mosquitoes and humidity in the depth of summer combine to drive the most tolerant gardener to abandon ship in quest of a weed-free zone. Even in the best of conditions, pulling weeds can be tedious and never-ending work.
It reminds me of Love. I believe in the power of Love to heal, comfort, and grow a person into a better human being who is capable of sharing abundant gifts with the world. I believe that pain can be contained in a trough of Love, covered over with compassion, and transformed into something miraculous. But Love can be hard…and messy. Anyone who has been in a family or a relationship knows this truth. Sleep-deprived nights and chore-filled days marked by dirty diapers, colicky crying, and minimal adult conversation can test the mettle of new parents. Years of marriage and routine and kids and jobs can strain the vows that bind us. Heartbreak and tears that seep from the depth of our souls threaten to uproot all we have worked so hard to plant.
Under the large and multifaceted umbrella of Love is a quality that sustains the integrity of that Love. It is a moment, an action, an interaction, and even a look—it is Affection. Affection opens our hearts, makes us feel warm, induces a smile, relaxes our bodies. It happens when I look at a beautiful flower or find an extraordinary creature in an ordinary moment of my day. It is the delight of biting into a home-grown tomato and the peace of a fragrant pine forest. Affection is the warmth of holding someone’s hand, the gift of offering our time and energy, the tenderness of pushing back a strand of hair from a tear-stained face. Affection demonstrates our attachment to the most important things in our lives.
On this Valentine’s Day, I wish you Love in all of its glory and difficulty, but I especially wish you Affection. May you give and receive a moment, a smile, an action, a gift, a whisper of love, the extraordinary beauty of Nature, and the peace that passes all understanding.
My Love Story with Nature
“The purest, most idealistic, truthful and honest love story one can ever live without the slightest sense of regret is that of loving nature.” —unknown
It takes time to get to know someone or something–at first things may not seem comfortable or the wrong words may be said or mistakes can be made. Doubts swim into our consciousness. But something draws us forward. And as we move forward and learn more about ourselves and the other, we begin to care–really, truly care. With time and caring, with respect and experience, with trust and observation, we begin to love.
I was very young when I first cared about nature–being outside and being around animals was an integral part of my life. I cared about the chickens and their miraculous eggs, even as I watchfully kept my distance from the scary rooster. I liked playing in the sandbox under the trees, walking under the wispy Weeping Willow branches, and sitting on the warm back of the gentle Holstein cow as my Dad milked. Later I fell in love with horses and worked hard cleaning out stalls at our neighbor’s barn so I could buy a horse of my own. I cared for that special horse for another twenty years until he died.
We care about people and things as we learn and spend time with them. Our feelings deepen and expand as we love the things we care about. And with that love comes responsibility to care for the people and things we love. Time. Caring. Love. Responsibility. Time, Caring, Love, Responsibility, and on and on it goes. I care about my family and Nature. I love my family and Nature. I care for my family and Nature, and in turn, desire to spend more time with them. On this Valentine’s Day, what kind of love story are you living?
Every Kind of Love
It was a one-in-a-million-chance-of-meeting love story that began in 1980 as May was slipping into June. He was a brown-eyed handsome man with ostrich leather cowboy boots and an easy, polite way of being. I don’t know what kind of courage it must have taken to walk over to ask a South Dakota girl to dance, with his slightly Southern drawl; all I know is, I’m glad he did. Thus began our unlikely long-distance romance with infrequent visits and the exchange of hundreds of letters. I learned about his love for his family, his character, his humor and loyalty, and his love of the outdoors. Two years later, in front of God, our families, and friends, I chose him to be my husband and he chose me to be his wife.
While we can only speculate whether there is Love between pairs of swans, eagles, and geese who mate for life, it is evident that they care for their chosen one.
They work diligently together to raise their families–building nests, incubating eggs, hunting for food, and teaching their young.
They are committed partners and companions, even when the road isn’t easy.
I have always said that Valentine’s Day is about Every Kind of Love. It includes Love for a partner but represents so much more. It is Love a mother or father has for her/his children–the daily care, the feeding, the teaching, and the letting go.
It is Love for our extended families and for the community of people who live and work with us.
It is Love for our friends–those close to us and those who are far away.
It is Love for our home the Earth and everything she provides for our well-being.
It is Love for the Creator who fashioned this incredible, enchanting world.
Valentine’s Day is also about a very basic, often overlooked kind of Love–the Love for ourselves. I don’t mean in a narcissistic, I’m-the-best kind of way, but in a deeply nurturing I’m-okay way. Love for the adventurous explorer in ourselves.
Love for the feisty, I’m-going-to-do-this part of ourselves.
Love for and acceptance of our uniqueness and our idiosyncrasies.
Love for our vulnerabilities and our curiosity.
I am grateful for the nearly thirty-five years with my brown-eyed handsome man, my husband and partner. But when time or circumstances strip away the driving forces of societal pressure and hormonal intensity to pair up, we are all left with something different, something more. When the busyness and self-sacrificing of raising a family or caring for parents is over, we need to re-fuel ourselves in some way. When friends are far away or gone from this earth, we are left alone in the middle of the night with our thoughts and feelings. When a workplace no longer provides support and daily companionship, we need the courage to be okay with ourselves. Love encompasses all the stages of our lives and is the container in which we grow and develop, make mistakes, take risks, and learn about the world and ourselves. Love is the Place we return to again and again.
Happy Valentine’s Day to my husband, my children, my family and friends, and to all you readers of North Star Nature! Love to you all!