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Heartwood

May 28, 2023 by Denise Brake 4 Comments

When we had a beautiful newborn child come into our lives in the mid-eighties, I remember laying her on the bed with a colorful, hand-crocheted baby blanket and taking her picture. I took the film photos of her on the same blanket once a week. By the time we actually got the film developed and saw the pictures, it was astounding how much she had changed each week in those early months of her life! That is how the last six weeks of Spring have been—an astounding transformation from remnants of snow on the winter-desiccated landscape to fully leaved-out trees, green grass, and blooming flowers! Both are sure signs of the miraculous metamorphoses of Life!

Two weeks ago, on Mother’s Day, I was happy to visit Afton State Park with our son Aaron and his girlfriend Zoe. The park is a short drive to the east of Saint Paul on the Saint Croix River. My first impression was that it was ‘crowded’ with people, as are most of the parks that are easily accessible from the Cities. It had been a cloudy, misty morning, but skies were beginning to clear by the time we arrived. The Saint Croix River is an indomitable body of water that marks the eastern border of Minnesota for part of its length and joins with the Mississippi River not far south of Afton State Park. Afton is one of five state parks that preserves the wild beauty of the Saint Croix River bluffs. We followed the North River Trail, an old railroad bed that followed the River. From the built-up height and railroad bridges, we looked down on the flood waters that crept through the trees and housed dozens of waterfowl.

The leaves of the trees were fresh and light green in their annual coming out celebration. Going from bare branches to abundant, distinctly-shaped leaves covering those branches is a Spring miracle that never fails to amaze me!

Looking over the bridge into the rippling flood waters and tree reflections was a bit disorienting.

The flood plain and riverside are perfect places for Eastern Cottonwood trees to grow tall in height and large in girth. They love having their roots so close to the water.

If my first observation of the park was an abundance of people, my second was the absence of Spring wildflowers compared to the central Minnesota parks. We saw these delightful variegated ferns emerging and found a few clumps of golden-starred Puccoons, along with some white-flowered Rue Anemone, but that was about it.

Green was the color of the day, however, and after a long, white Winter, it is a welcomed change. The flooding and movement of the River had created sandbars, pools of water, and piles of debris. The receding water left patterns in the sand, mats of old vegetation, and opportunities for new spikes of green grass. And isn’t it amazing that along with new leaves, some trees have flowered and fruited already? Winged Maple seeds had flown from their new places on the branches to the sand below.

We left the riverside and began to climb the bluff on the switchback trail that led us up to the top. We saw the distinct, pocketed cap of Yellow Morel mushrooms, the most hunted wild mushroom, I would guess.

Close by was another mushroom, colorful and cute, that I should have taken a closer look at (as in the underside), because it is probably either a Golden Chanterelle (edible and desirable) or a Jack-o-Lantern mushroom (toxic). The Jack-o-Lantern has distinct gills on the underside and has a green bioluminescence when fresh! They glow in the dark—well named!

I also loved this bark palette of blue and green lichens. Mother Nature’s beautiful art.

We climbed past a stand of Red Pines and saw a broken branch that perfectly illustrates why the innermost, oldest part of a trunk or branch of a tree is called heartwood.

At the top of the bluff was an overlook of the Saint Croix River and a backpack campground. It is where the little baby I took pictures of in our old home in Missouri, camped with her college friends.

A bright flower-of-a-bird, the American Goldfinch, flitted from tree to tree, and sitting near the top of a dead tree was a Sharp-shinned Hawk watching the passers-by.

When we returned to the trail where we began, the sky had cleared and reflected blue on the water. There was even change in a couple of hours!

Spring brings constant changes, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, as Mother Nature transforms from dormancy to vibrancy. It is exciting to see the new leaves, plants, fungi, and flowers return. Mother’s Day is a reminder to me of the pregnancy days, the baby days (and nights), those fun-filled elementary days, the incredible growth of personhood in the middle and high school days—how fast they all go! Then the winged children fly away to college and beyond, to different states, different jobs, and different loves. Mother’s Day is now bittersweet for me—I no longer see the daily, weekly, monthly growth of my dear adult children. I can no longer take the weekly photos to stash those memories—not having those reflections is disorienting at times. I cherish the time I get to be with them and mourn the ‘childless’ holidays. I can only hope that they have loved having their roots grow from mine and that they have learned to appreciate Mother Nature’s art and miraculous science. And as they change and I change, I hope they know the love of my heartwood grows with them.

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Filed Under: Spring Tagged With: Afton State Park, heartwood, Morel mushrooms, Mother's Day, new leaves, puccoons, Saint Croix River, sharp-shinned hawk, spring flooding

The Girl, the Wreck, and the Reckoning

December 20, 2020 by Denise Brake 3 Comments

There was this girl. I can say we were both girls with our youthful faces and my unblemished naivete, even though we had just slipped into chronological adulthood. She was the cutest, sweetest, doll-like person I had ever met—she had dark curls, porcelain skin, and a child-like sing-song laugh. And she lied. It didn’t take long before I realized how much she lied. There is nothing wrong with eschewing a non-virtuous trait like lying. At the time, I could not reckon with the dichotomy of outward appearance and altruistic behaviors and the manipulative, self-serving, incessant lying. So I hated her. I discounted her. I didn’t want to be around her even as she pulled us all in, and we revolved around her world. My gut reaction had lots to do with me, but at the same time, there was something that wasn’t right with how she interacted with the people around her. Leap ahead a decade and a half when I was knee-deep into parenthood and a plethora of self-help books. I came across the concept of what we hate/envy/dislike in another person is what we disown/hide/reject in ourselves. So I looked in the mirror and tried it on. ‘I am a liar.’ I couldn’t get it to fit—at all.

The St. Croix River at William O’Brien State Park was like a mirror—except where there was ice. Reflections of the trees and sky were obscured wherever the ice formed or floated.

The cloudy sky reflected steel gray on the River mirror. The dark-trunked trees and the gray bluffs could be seen in their twin forms on the water.

What we see in our reflections and in life depends on how we frame them. Do we look through a narrow lens that blocks out parts we don’t want to see and call it good?

The ice on the River became the focal point even though it clung to the shore and was a small part of the large whole of the River water. It was a distraction really.

It was captivating really.

It was interesting really.

It was intriguing really.

It distracted me from the calm, quietness of the River mirror and its reflections.

There is destruction with ice and distractions.

It immobilizes the old, spent parts of ourselves.

It mesmerizes us with confusion. How could we possibly see clearly through a maze of such entanglements?

It piles up, digs in, and creates a false narrative to the big-picture reality.

The ice-distractions even get reflected in the calm waters, entwining their way into real life, obfuscating our true north.

It takes will and determination to look away from the train wreck, to center ourselves in calm and peace, and to reflect on ourselves and our values.

But we really need it all. We need to be able to see the past, the roots of our being, the things that worked and the things that hurt. We need to be able to identify the captivating, mesmerizing distractions that pull us away from the reality of who we really are and what we need to learn. And we need to embrace the mystery of the mirror, of the reflections we see and those we discover in our hearts.

And then we walk on. Our path, our journey is only partially revealed to us at any given time.

We gaze up-river, from whence we came, notice the distractions and the reflections, all the while heading in a new direction, to an uncharted new world.

Life is a hazy, lovely mystery that catches us off guard, pulls us in, invites us to reflect, compels us to change, and blesses us with the whole process all over again.

For years after trying on and rejecting the term ‘liar,’ I pondered the concept of disowning what I disliked in others, and I wondered why I had hated her for lying. It took maybe another decade of trying to please people, being nice, avoiding conflict, following the rules, and feeling beat up before my reflection revealed that I really was a liar. I was saying I was fine when I wasn’t. I was saying I didn’t need help when I did. I was saying yes when I wanted to say no. I was a self-inflicting liar. I was hurting myself in order to make others feel comfortable. I had to reckon with my own dichotomy, my own hurts and disappointments, my own distractions and stories that were woven together into the cloak of my being. The heat of my hurt and humble embarrassment melted the obfuscating ice, and the calm water revealed my flawed, striving, righteous self. So I walked on in reckoning, recalibration, and forgiveness to the next lovely mystery of a train wreck that caught me off guard. Dear God, help me walk on.

Know from whence you came. If you know whence you came, there are absolutely no limitations to where you can go. –James Baldwin

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Filed Under: Fall Tagged With: 2020, ice, reckoning, reflections, Saint Croix River, William O Brien State Park

The Hard Way

September 23, 2018 by Denise Brake 4 Comments

It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.  –Lucius Annaeus Seneca

After our easy way of exploring the Saint Croix River on a paddlewheel boat, we picnicked beside the River to renew our energy for the afternoon.  The paddleboat company, the town of Taylors Falls, and Interstate State Park seem to be intertwined.  In fact, we started our hike by walking up one of the hilly side streets after crossing the one, busy main street through town.  We passed an old railroad depot that I thought had been moved up there, but then I realized that we were hiking along the abandoned railroad way.

It soon became evident what a marvelous engineering feat it was to build a railroad through these bluffs!

We came to a place in the woods where the old railway had continued over a steep ravine on a bridge long gone except for some concrete pillars that now had colonies of wild ginger strewn at their feet.

We descended the wooded ravine, and at the bottom, the trail diverged—and we chose the hard way, the scenic way according to our guide Aaron Brake who had hiked here before.  And so we followed another ravine and began the winding ascent to the very top of the bluff.

In the creek bed at the bottom of the ravine were shiny, glistening rocks of basalt.

Fallen trees created bridges of varying size and structure.

We climbed and climbed and though we were in the shady woods, the warm, humid day and exertion caused me to sweat like crazy.  “I never sweat this much,” I exclaimed a number of times, and the only response I got from Emily was, “You need to up your workouts, Mom.”  Finally we got to the top of the bluff and saw the River way down below.

On the trail down we explored more of the sandstone bluffs.  One place was called Curtain Falls that now only flows after heavy rains and snow-melt.

Living on a steep, rocky bluff is a hard way for a tree to survive.  I was amazed at the survival strategies we saw from some of the plant life, like this tree root scaling the rocky cliff, clinging to any soil it could find.

The way down was ‘easier’ than climbing to the top but was in no way easy.  There were many places where wooden stairs helped us get down the steep rock faces.

We arrived at the campground of Interstate State Park—the parking lot and camping spots were full on this Labor Day weekend.  But our hike wasn’t over yet—the trail continued along the River, through trees and over rocks, back to the entrance of the park where we had boarded the boat earlier in the day.  Now we could see the River from the top of the rock cliffs adjacent to the water.

Rock climbers are welcome at the park, and we saw many ropes and climbers.  That’s a hard way of getting up and down the cliffs!

It was beautiful hiking along the rocky cliffs among stately pines, wild blueberries, and various types of ferns.  What a different perspective of the Saint Croix River we had from the edges of the huge rocks compared to floating down the middle of the River. 

 

By the time we returned to the entrance of the park, my feet hurt, my legs were sore, and I wanted to sit down for a while.  When I polled the young twenty and thirty-year-olds about the difficulty of the hike, they proclaimed it ‘moderate.’  I had the word ‘challenging’ in my mind, but chalked that up to our 30-year age difference and my need to ‘up my workouts.’  I’m glad we took the hard way, the rough road, the scenic way.  It really was so beautiful, and it impelled me to exert and sweat and do ‘the work.’  It led us to the heights of that scenic River and the greatness of Nature.  There are times in our lives when the hard way is presented to us, when we don’t have a choice, no matter how badly we want an easy option.  Marie Curie said, “I was taught that the way of progress was neither swift nor easy.”  So what do we do?  We anchor our support ropes, take it slow and easy, use the steps and bridges to get us down the steep parts and over the ravines, and we do the work.  We make progress, we do what is right, and in our own way, we are led to greatness.

After the easy way and the hard way, we ended our day with the ancient way…to be continued…

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Filed Under: Fall Tagged With: Interstate State Park, rocks, Saint Croix River, sandstone cliffs, trees, woods

The Easy Way

September 16, 2018 by Denise Brake 4 Comments

A ship in the harbor is safe. But that’s not what ships are built for.  –John A. Shedd

We got our tickets and were told the Taylors Falls Princess was docked in Interstate State Park, as the water was too rough and rushing over the rapids at the usual dock.  Up the hill, turn left, past the park entrance, and down the hill.  The Princess is a paddlewheel boat operated by Taylors Falls Scenic Boat Tours—a family owned and run business on the Saint Croix River since 1906.  The upper deck was already filled with site-seers, so we took our seats at the front of the lower deck to get the best standing spots once the gate was closed.  It was an easy way to explore the Saint Croix River, complete with a knowledgeable tour guide and seasoned captain.

This area of the river cutting through huge rock formations is called ‘dalles,’ a French word for rapids of a river through a narrow gorge.  The base rock is basalt, a dark, fine-grained volcanic rock that was later covered with a shallow sea that deposited sandstone above the basalt.  When glaciers began to melt, the St. Croix River was formed.  When the melting ice water intersected an old fracture in the basalt, it took the easy way, creating a sharp bend here at Angle Rock.

Our tour guide pointed out rock formations that looked like various things—Lion’s Head, Elephant’s Head, and the Old Man of the Dalles.

Supposedly, French fur traders of the 1600’s saw a cross in this rock face and named the river after the ‘Holy Cross,’ though the River was known by many different names before and after that time.

We paddled down the River on the Princess and saw many paddlers in colorful kayaks and Alumacraft canoes who weren’t taking it quite as easy as we were!  The Saint Croix River is part of the National Wild and Scenic Riverways system established in 1968.  

We saw an eagle and eagle’s nest…

…and a gaggle of geese taking it easy on the shore.

My favorite story by the tour guide was about the island that wasn’t supposed to be there.  When they were building the road on the Minnesota side of the River bluffs, the contractor told his assistant to order two tons of dynamite, and she mistakenly ordered twenty tons.  He blew the bluff into the River!  Is that an easy way to make an island or was the assistant an easy scapegoat to his big problem?

The Saint Croix River begins in Wisconsin about 20 miles south of Lake Superior, and the last 125 miles marks the border between Wisconsin and Minnesota where it then merges with the Mississippi.  The Interstate State Park is on both the Wisconsin side and Minnesota side around the Dalles area. 

The Saint Croix has been one of the cleanest rivers in the Midwest, but like most lakes and streams in the state, it has a problem with nutrient (phosphorus) overload in the summer.  The dark brownish-red color of the water is from tannins that come from decaying plant material that lines the shores of the River; tannins are not considered to be a pollutant, but we did wonder about the constant stream of white foam.  

 

Our easy eighty-minute excursion on the paddlewheel boat seemed to go fast—the River and the rocks were beautiful.  The history and stories by our tour guide were interesting and informative.  Our easy way of exploring the River and bluffs cost us money in order for other people and machines to do ‘the work.’  We were safe within the rails of the boat (never in their long history have they ever had to use the life vests.)  Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor.”  The easy way doesn’t challenge us—it may keep us safe, be the way we’ve always done things, and be the most comfortable for us.  But is that what we’re built for?  Is that what we’re born for?  How do we build roads where once there were rocks and trees?  How do we make an island?  Our day at the Saint Croix River was just beginning.  The easy way was over. 

To be continued… 

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Filed Under: Summer Tagged With: bald eagles, Interstate State Parks, Saint Croix River, The Dalles of St. Croix, water, woods

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I love Nature! I love its beauty, its constancy, its adaptiveness, its intricacies, and its surprises. I think Nature can teach us about ourselves and make us better people. Read More…

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