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The Motion of Balance

May 7, 2023 by Denise Brake Leave a Comment

Balance. It’s one of those things we are constantly striving for in all aspects of our lives, whether we are aware of it or not. Our physiology is perfectly attuned to balance or homeostasis, always adjusting on the cellular and systemic level to bring our bodies ‘back in balance.’ We know the physical act of balancing (like standing on one foot) is good for our brains, muscle strength, coordination, and stability, and is linked to a longer life. Most of us aspire to a more optimal work–life balance, active–sleep balance, and doing for others–doing for ourselves balance. Our lives are really a great balancing act!

In Minnesota this year (and most), the seasonal scales are tipped towards Winter. We’ve had snow on the ground for over five months. To be fair, late Autumn and early Spring are also the owners of below freezing temps and snowflakes, though most just call that Winter. Where there is balance, there is also a continuum. Two weeks ago, we hiked at Sibley State Park on a trail we hadn’t been on before. We began on the short Pondview Trail, circling a shallow lake, wetland, and clearing. In the middle of the pond was a fresh mound of wetland vegetation with a Canada Goose standing on one leg on top of it. His neck was twisted over his back, and his bill was tucked under his wing. He stood that way for longer than we hiked around the pond, and I marveled at his balance. Herons, shorebirds, ducks, geese, gulls, and even some hawks stand on one leg at times. It is thought to be for thermoregulation—to prevent the loss of body heat from the unfeathered legs. Yet that doesn’t explain why flamingos, who live in warm climates, are often posed on one leg, but scientists speculate they can conserve energy with that stance.

Other waterfowl were more energized by the sunlight and warmer temps—a pair of Wood ducks swam along the reeds, then flew away from the intruding hikers. A pair of Mallards cared little for who was circling their pond as they were busy feeding in a constant bob of bottoms up.

As we left the wetland area, we began to see the primary trees that inhabited this woodland—tall, stately Cedars and spreading Oaks, along with scatters of Aspens on the sunny fringes. We walked in honor of Arbor Day that would be celebrated later that week. We walked as tree-lovers, tree-planters, tree-caretakers. Chris is nearing fifty years of working with trees as his career!

As we walked farther into the forest, snow still covered the trail in places. Turkey tracks looked like arrows pointing us in the opposite direction in which they walked. Coming and going. Back and forth. The motion of balance.

We passed by an old Cedar with branches flowing down to the ground. On such an old tree, the lower branches often die back with lack of sunlight. Its sturdy trunk with flared roots as large as legs and its drooping branches created a shelter of sorts that I’m sure was used by some critters during the long, snowy Winter.

We spotted an old rock foundation in the woods and followed a well-marked! deer trail to an old homestead, complete with the rocky remains of a cellar. The forest was reclaiming what once ‘belonged’ to man.

Much later down the trail, we saw where an old Oak had literally claimed an enamel vestige of the homestead.

The trail was a wonderful combination of sunny Oak stands and shadowy, snowy Cedar stands. It is a bit unusual to see such large Cedars as a significant portion of a forest. Unusual and wonderful.

Two bright spots on the hike were a yellow, lichen-covered stick and a Snowy Egret perched in the dried reeds of the wetland.

And towards the end of the trail was a moss-marked tree that resolutely confirmed our tree-loving hike!

Walking among the trees, those great, grounded, balanced beings, is an act of balance, a balancing act(ion). There is motion in balance—one way, then the other. We usually know when we or thee are too far to one side—when things are out-of-whack. It takes considerable energy to maintain such an unnatural stance, and the cost to the organism or system is great. A balancing act can be a move (how about ‘tree pose’ or ‘flamingo pose’?), a behavior (like a hike in the forest), service (to people or our Earth), work (oh-so-many kinds), or pretend (our imaginative, fun side). It takes time and energy to ‘right’ ourselves, but once a more natural balance is achieved, life is easier again. We are ‘in the flow’ of life. The motion of our balance is measured and easy, like a tree swaying in the breeze.

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Filed Under: Spring Tagged With: balance, balancing act, cedar trees, oak trees, Sibley State Park, snow, waterfowl

Fire and Refuge

November 15, 2020 by Denise Brake 2 Comments

True refuge demands a complete and utter trust fall into the arms of reality. –Miles Neale

There was something a bit off when we drove into the parking lot of Blue Hill Trail at Sherburne National Wildlife Refuge. I saw prairie land, a big hill, and some scattered trees. I couldn’t identify what didn’t seem right. We readied ourselves for the four or five mile loop, then set out on the sandy trail. Almost at once I noticed the standing totem of a burnt tree—not unusual in any place we hike. But the colorful-for-Fall Sumac seedheads were much more delightful.

It was not long before we saw other burnt, dead tree trunks. Had there been a wildfire here? Most of the trees were Oak—White Oaks who had dropped their leaves and Red Oaks who were still adorned in their rust-colored finery.

From that point on, most every tree we saw had been damaged by fire. The big, beautiful Oaks were in various stages of decline—some were dead and fallen, others were dead and standing, and quite a few others were alive, but distorted in their growth. That’s what was off about my first impression—the trees no longer had a normal canopy for the size of the tree. Lower branches were gone, some limbs were dead, and the rest of the foliage was concentrated towards the top of the very tall trees. Survival seemed very uncertain for the standing, living dead.

The undergrowth, or I should say, the new growth since there wasn’t much ‘under’ left, was a combination of Hazelnuts, shrubby, multi-stemmed Red Oaks, Raspberries, and some Willows in marshy areas. The purple-stemmed Raspberries conveyed their color in sharp contrast to the brown landscape.

Hazelnuts—the actual nut—are usually long gone by this time of the year, eaten by deer, wild turkeys, squirrels, and pheasants. But the shrubs were so abundant in this area that many nuts remained, peeking out from their curled husks.

Autumn revealed an ‘unhidden’ nest in the bare branches that had earlier given protection and security to the hard-working bird.

Pocket Gopher mounds were everywhere. I wondered how they could build their burrows in such sandy soil without the walls collapsing all around them. Deer tracks were plentiful also, all along the trail. We joked about the trails being for humans or deer, and Chris noted they were just like us, taking the path of least resistance.

When would this come crashing down?

All 30,000+ acres of Sherburne National Wildlife Refuge is a combination of forest, prairie, lakes, and wetlands. It was established as a refuge in 1965 to protect and restore habitat in the St. Francis River Valley for migratory birds and other wildlife. During the months of March through August, most areas are closed to the public to allow the wildlife to breed and raise their young ones without human disturbance.

Two-thirds of the way through our hike we came to Buck Lake. More than a dozen Muskrat houses poked up from the marshy water and reeds.

On a mud bar in the middle of the lake, a family of Trumpeter Swans was busy with the business of preening and cleaning their feathers. Beyond the Swans was a flock of ducks feeding in the shallow water with ‘bottoms up.’

After the preening, Mother and Father Swan slid into the water and glided through the reeds, the wind messing their just-smoothed feathers.

The young cygnets followed their parents, their dusky gray feathers getting ruffled in the wind. They will migrate and winter as a family, and their parents will most likely return to this lake to nest again. Trumpeter Swans and Muskrats have a synergistic relationship—when Muskrat and Beaver populations increase, Swan populations also increase, as they use the tops of the dens for nesting sites.

Seven young Swans a swimming…

Beyond a Mullein patch was an evergreen forest, which I later learned was referred to as the Enchanted Forest.

It was a forest of Spruces—the first wholly Spruce forest I remember seeing. The trail wound through the towering trees. It was dark and quiet, so unlike the rest of the hike. It did seem enchanted!

We emerged from the forest with Blue Hill in our sights—the highest point in the refuge. Trees still showed their wounds, the lasting legacy of the destruction of fire.

With a little research after I was home, I discovered that Blue Hill had had ‘prescribed’ burns in 2009, 2015, and 2018. Prescribed burns are fires that are carefully planned to take into account temperature, humidity, wind speed and direction. They were being used to restore the Oak savanna by thinning non-native grasses and plants while promoting the health of native vegetation. They had protected the Enchanted Spruce Forest by how and where they set the fire. It sounds good in theory, and good practices were used, but something went wrong. They harmed the very trees they were trying to protect—the towering White Oaks. Fire will take the path of least resistance—most destructive forces will, whether of Nature or mankind. So how do we find refuge in the face of destruction? We can bury ourselves in the sand, not seeing, not listening, hoping for the best. (Though I bet there were plenty of roasted Pocket Gophers after the fire that decimated those trees.) We can run away in fear and busyness, not taking the time to ‘read the landscape’ and gather information. We can sit on our island of entitlement refusing to see the flames that are engulfing those around us. “True refuge demands a complete and utter trust fall into the arms of reality,” says Miles Neale, a Buddhist psychotherapist. It is a brilliant statement. Refuge is defined as a condition of being safe or sheltered from pursuit, danger, or trouble. To truly have refuge we need reality, the reality of facts, evidence, expertise, and truth, along with the reality of love and compassion that emanates from our spiritual beliefs. We don’t want to destroy the very things we are trying to protect. Fall into the refuge of reality.

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Filed Under: Fall Tagged With: Corona virus, fire, hazelnuts, oak trees, reality, refuge, Sherburne National Wildlife Refuge, Trumpeter swans

Tattered

July 19, 2020 by Denise Brake 8 Comments

If I were a butterfly, my wings would be tattered. It hasn’t been wind and rain but storms of other kinds that have wreaked havoc on my body and devastated my heart. Like the butterfly, the longer we live and the more life experiences we have, the greater the chances of being tattered.

Sometimes life is just plain hard for oh-so-many reasons that are out of our control—coronavirus, job loss and the cascade that comes from that, certain illnesses and losses of relationships. It feels like we are pushing against the status quo, defying gravity, carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders.

At times we get stuck and wonder how the heck we ended up in this place. ‘I did not sign up for this.’

Life can turn us in circles, bind us in the weeds, trip us up, even as we are working hard to do the right thing.

Then there are those times, thankfully rare, when we are immobilized, frozen, stuck in a web of confusion and uncertainty. We are cocooned. The life we have known is taken from us—we dissolve from the person we used to be….into….nothingness….for a while, at least. The grief and despair of being wretched out of our old life and long-held beliefs is a bottomless well—or so it seems at the time.

But there is a bottom. In fact, it is constructed for each one of us—it catches us from our seemingly fatal fall in the exact right way, often without our awareness. We are still flailing and desolate, fighting against the constraints of change.

Do not be afraid—you are on the right path. Don’t struggle against the struggle.

But what helps with the struggle? Good nutrition of body, heart and soul—food, love, and meaning.

Sunlight…

the heartbeat of Mother Nature…

beauty…

support for our well-being and growth…

and knowing we, like all of God’s creations, can get through tough times.

Where do beauty and respect abide? Struggle is a part of the human experience. It is not for nought. Struggle helps us learn. It refines our beliefs. It is an opportunity to better ourselves and our world. It is meant to be a reckoning of who we are and where we stand in this Earthly creation. So while struggle is deeply and profoundly personal—it is only ourselves who are peering down the deep, dark well of whatever is tearing apart our hearts and souls—it is also God’s call to us to reach beyond our personal reclamation. We are citizens of the community, the church, the state, the country, and the world. In reckoning and reclamation comes a responsibility to our fellow citizens—not responsibility for, but to—and to our Earth. We are not here to take, use, discard, abuse, and misuse the lives of other people or the resources of our planet. Our personal freedom is tempered by our collective responsibility. Therein lies beauty and respect. So let’s celebrate tattered wings, storms of struggle, and hard-won inner battles. Let’s reach out during this Covid time with food, love, and light. Let’s know deep in our bodies, hearts, and souls that like the old Oak tree, we can get through tough times and that there is a landing place from which to rebuild. Fly, though your wings be tattered.

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Filed Under: Summer Tagged With: butterflies, Corona virus, mushrooms, oak trees, struggles, wildflowers

This Side of Winter

November 3, 2019 by Denise Brake 7 Comments

We had been there before—on the other side of Winter—when the wish for Spring was ardent and within our reach. But at that time, the thick cover of snow and warmer, stronger sun had ‘iced’ the trails, and we could not even walk down the steep slopes to the banks of the grand Mississippi River. This time we walked through dry, crispy leaves, down the steep slope, right to the edge of the water. The sky was cloudy, the wind brisk, the temperature hovering around freezing. On this side of Winter, we were filled with more reluctance, almost a resentment that Autumn had not played nice and eased us into the fray of Winter.

A couple of days of strong wind had bared the brilliant golden Maples and Birch trees. Ash and Linden leaves were long gone, but the Oak trees still clenched their rusty orange and red leaves in a last hurrah. The Mississippi River County Park had a bluff full of Oaks, Pines, and Cedars, and at their feet was a chock-full River.

We had the opportunity to be in the neighborhood of the River for a week, so we visited the park three different days. The first day of exploration with the camera had my attention focused outward to what the Park had to offer on that chilly day.

The second day, we explored the bluff trails.

The third day, I had a heated and heavy heart, and I went down to the River without a word to my walking partner, and I barreled through the trails hoping to discharge some of that heaviness. Halfway mindful of the early setting sun, I turned around after getting part-way down a loop trail and studied the map to see which way would get us back to the car. Since the River was so high, large parts of the peninsula and trail were covered with water. We went cross-country through the trees and brush to get around the water-logged spots, and I had a glimpse of pleasure in that endeavor.

“As I went down to the river to pray,
Studying about that good ol’ way,
And who shall wear the starry crown,
Good Lord, show me the way.” *

I have to remember that this side of Winter feels different than the other side of Winter, no matter what lay at your feet. One of the gifts of age is knowing you have been there before—‘there’ being a tough time, a difficult experience, or a crushing blow to your heart—and knowing you will get through it to a better place. But this side of Winter is a daunting place—you have to get out the gear, bundle up, put your head down, and use your determination to take the next step and then the next one. The River and Life flows on, learning and wisdom grow like a sturdy Oak, the starry crown guides our actions, even when the trail is obscured and we have to blaze our own trail. And at any given time, on any given day, we can pray, “Good Lord, show me the way.”

*from ‘Down in the River to Pray’, a traditional African-American spiritual

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Filed Under: Fall Tagged With: cedar trees, Mississippi River, Mississippi River County Park, oak trees, tough times

Looking From the Inside Out

February 18, 2018 by Denise Brake 4 Comments

At the beginning of the week I was planning to do a post about all the things I love about Nature in honor of Love and Valentine’s Day.  There are so, so many things I love about Nature, about all the life-giving forces that surround us in our daily lives.  Wednesday was a busy day starting with a circle of wonderful women sharing love for one another and discussing Desmond Tutu’s ‘The Book of Forgiving’ and ending with an Ash Wednesday potluck supper and worship service.  And then the news of another deadly school shooting….  It takes a while for the story to unfold.  It takes a while for the horror of it to sink into our minds.  It takes a while before our bodies register the threat and menace of a normal day turned deadly.  Oh, God, help us all.

And then I returned to the post I wrote just last week, to the place where thirteen men, women, and children were murdered on a day in 1862 when the traveling pastor came to visit, when the adults fled the gathering to try to save the children.  It was chilling to visit that memorial state park last week, and it was chilling to hear the present-day news of yet another school mass murder this week.

The social media fallout and subsequent bipolarization of the issue of innocent lives lost made me want to cry out in anguish.  One meme had a Sesame Street character as the picture with words linking gun deaths to abortions.  Incendiary and incriminating words are useless in every situation.    

I realized that we all see things from the inside out.  We do not see the big picture.  We look through the window of our own lives and experiences.

The window we look through is shaped by our upbringing, our culture, our parents, and our education.  Were we loved and cared for or neglected and starved?  Did people nourish and encourage us or hurt us and abandon us?  Were we free to learn and be curious about the world or were we in survival mode day after day?  It makes a huge difference in what we see when we’re looking from the inside out.  But even the most loved, nourished, and educated person doesn’t see the whole picture—and that’s where community comes in.  That’s when questions are asked, when experts are consulted, when data needs to be examined, and when we walk outside of our limited box of experience in order to experience the situation through the window of one who actually lives it.  We each contribute a puzzle piece in order to see the whole picture.

On the left side of the picture above is a tree.  Looking from the inside out, we can only see a part of it.  Our minds extrapolate to build the image of the rest of the tree—because we know what a tree looks like.  We, in essence, make up the rest of the image.  By stepping out of our limited view of the tree, we see it in a completely different way.  We behold the bigger picture and get a better sense of the reality of the tree.

And yet, we still don’t see the whole tree.  We notice the ground now, but we don’t see the extensive system of roots below the ground that are intrinsic to the life and existence of the tree.  We discern the bark and trunk of the tree, but we don’t see the inside layers of phloem and xylem that coordinate the nourishment of the tree.  We distinguish the branches and impressive crown of the Oak, but we don’t see the leaves that power the life of the tree.  We are humbled in the face of this Oak and in the face of Nature.  As we look from the inside out, let’s gather together as a community of people to add our pieces, ever so humbly, in order to see the bigger picture and take steps to not only try to stop the senseless killings, but to also help those vulnerable people whose windows are small and desolate.  

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Filed Under: Winter Tagged With: Monson Lake State Park, oak trees, the big picture

The Parable of the Flaming Sunset

January 15, 2017 by Denise Brake 4 Comments

A day of snow ended with a flaming sunset that glowed warm yellow and orange in the center of the light.  Cool pink and blue surrounded the flame, reflecting the cold whiteness of the January earth.  The Old One knew this was no ordinary sunset—the light signified a special unfolding of time and events.

The next morning snow fell again.  With it came an unusual occurrence—a large black crow flew to the tree beside the dwelling and spoke to the Old One.  “Go to the top of the world where the Three Wise Guardians stand, then find the Giver of Life.”

A second crow flew to the Maple tree and this time the message was for the Young One.  “Make a path for the Old One, for the Old One has spent many years making a path for you.”  A tiny Chickadee scribe marked the words of these extraordinary messengers.

The Old One and the Young One looked at one another in dismay at the talking of the crows.  Remembering the flaming sunset from the night before, the Old One prepared for the walk to the top of the world with hope and excitement.  The snow stopped falling, and the sky became a brilliant blue, reflecting its tint on the snow.

And as they walked through the snow, the Young One made a path for the Old One, just as the crow had instructed.

They reached the top of the world where the guardian Oaks stood strong and wind-swept.

“Find the Giver of Life,” thought the Old One.  So the Old One followed the Young One down the steep hill to the River, holding on to resilient saplings for support, and was glad the trail blazed by young legs made the going a little easier.

The River was covered in ice and snow.  A circle of open water along the bank warned the Young One and Old One not to walk on the ice, for the flowing current underneath made the way uncertain and dangerous.  So they walked between the shore and the rocky outcroppings.

Old One stepped on something under the snow that crunched and gave away.  Young One, who had walked the path before the snow, said it was trash, bags of trash.  Old One was horrified that such a beautiful, life-giving place was littered with garbage.  Dispirited, Old One turned to go back, wondering why the crows had sent them down to the River, the Giver of Life, only to find danger in the ice-covered river and rubbish strewn along its shores.  All covered over with pure white, beautiful snow.

The walk back home was more difficult.  The steep hill and frigid cold grabbed the air from Old One’s lungs.  The trek that had started out so hopeful and inspiring had turned arduous and disheartening.  What did the Three Wise Guardians at the top of the world know about the journey and what lay below their watchful eye?

The Young One led the way with strength and silence, knowing the Old One was discouraged and slow but still determined.  When almost home, the Young One pointed to a log that had been split in half.  “Look.  The snow has made the log whole again.”

 

 

“I will guide you.  I will turn darkness into light before you and make the rough places smooth.”  –Isaiah 42:16

 

 

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Filed Under: Winter Tagged With: crows, oak trees, parable, rivers, snow, sunsets

Bobber or No Bobber

October 18, 2014 by Denise Brake Leave a Comment

I’m not a fisherman.  But the handful of times that I have tried fishing, I liked having a bobber on my line.  It is a good Indicator of Success for one who does not have a ‘feel’ for having a fish biting on the bait.  Bobber going under the water equals a fish on the line.  Set the hook and you have a fish.  It makes fishing so much easier!  But with the exception of one long ago fishing experience at a Varner Brothers farm pond in the great state of Missouri, when the fish were literally jumping on the hooks, I don’t even remember catching a fish–bobber or no bobber.  But I still like the idea of an indicator, a marker, a helper when it comes to fishing–or anything else, for that matter.

We stopped at Warner Lake County Park this past weekend on our way back from Lake Maria State Park.  It was our first time there, and we wanted to explore a bit.  We parked at the boat dock, and the first thing I saw when I walked down to the lake was this:

Bobbers stuck in cattails

Bobbers floating in the cattails–an indicator of hooks stuck not in a fish, but in the sticks and weeds!  How many foiled fishing experiences had happened here?!  I left the two true fisherman in my family at the boat dock to catch a fish or lose a lure as I walked along a path in the woods to another part of the park.  An interesting mix of large cedars and oaks grew between the trail and the lake shore.

Oak tree at Warner Lake County Park

At the other side of the park, there was a fishing dock, picnic pavilion, playground, and swimming beach.  The clearing had room for volleyball and running games.  Tracks in the dirt and paths in the grass indicated it was a popular place for bike riding.  Hiking paths disappeared into the woods.  It was a charming place.  Two boys and their dad fished off the dock, and the younger, bespectacled boy had a fish story of catching a large northern pike that fought like crazy.  Such was the tiring fight that the young fellow had given up on the fishing and was happy to tell his fish story to passersby.

Warner Lake

Evening announced its arrival with a chill in the air.  The lake was calming down.  We saw a lone kayaker out on the water practicing Eskimo rolls.  Again and again he would roll over, going under the clear water and righting himself.  Practicing.  Being prepared.

The setting sun then lit up the far shoreline, igniting the autumn leaves in a blaze of color.

Shoreline at Warner Lake

Trees in sunlight at Warner Lake

Tree reflection at Warner Lake

This small park just off the interstate highway was a jewel of Nature–a perfect spot for the interaction of people and the elements of Nature.

Shoreline at Lake Warner

 

 

When we are surrounded by Nature and our senses are on high alert–in a good way–we are changed.  Our eyes can scarcely take in all the beauty of the autumn trees, the smell of cedar trees and fallen leaves pheromonally entices us to stay and explore, the soft lapping of the water on the sand and the quaking leaves on the trees hone our hearing, and the touch of wind, water, or scaly fish makes us happy to be alive.  It takes practice to let the rest of our busy worlds go for a while, but the practice is relatively simple–just go to Nature.  And Nature takes it from there.  Being in Nature gives us an opportunity to ponder what the Indicators are in our lives.  It changes our very physiology–in a good way–just by merely coexisting.  It gifts us with a fish, a good fish story, or patience.  So whether your bobber indicates a great catch or a snag in the sticks and weeds, practice being in Nature–it will prepare your soul for the work of your life.

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Filed Under: Fall Tagged With: lakes, leaves, oak trees

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I love Nature! I love its beauty, its constancy, its adaptiveness, its intricacies, and its surprises. I think Nature can teach us about ourselves and make us better people. Read More…

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