Denise Brake, Author at NorthStarNature

The Land of Oz

August 7, 2022 by Denise Brake 3 Comments

It’s hard to see a storm coming when you’re in the forest, nestled in the trees, no horizon in sight. In fact, hardly any sky in sight. It’s a different story when the flatland prairie stretches in all directions, and the sky is big, open, and expressive. I lived on the prairie when I was hit by a metaphoric storm—it turned out to be a tornado, in fact. It picked me up out of my ordinary life, spun me around and around until I didn’t know which side was up or if I would even survive it. I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t see it coming because I was surrounded by ‘tall trees’ of ordinary life—three children in three different schools and their activities; graduate school with classes, research, animal caretaking and data-gathering, tests, and writing; church goings-on; family fun and responsibilities. Those details of life kept my eyes directly on what was in front of me—no time for sky-gazing or soul-searching. Looking back now, it was that swirl of activity that helped perpetuate the storm, not just my blindness towards some outside force moving in from the horizon to bowl me over, though there was that, too.

Elevation helps a person see the storm coming when you’ve been in the trees. It lifts you above the interesting, compelling details right in front of you. It helps you see a little farther, a little further.

I can definitely get bogged down in the details—I love them. They are so darned interesting. Look at these papery seedpods of the Ironwood tree. They look like hops, which is why the other name for the tree is American Hop Hornbeam! The highly serrated leaves are similar to Birches, but they do not turn brilliant yellow in the fall like the Birches do. They grow extremely slow, thus making the wood very hard—ironwood.

And look at these Wild Rose hips or fruits forming after the pink petals fall from the flowers. They will turn a bright red color and develop sweetness as Autumn comes, especially after a frost. They are one of the highest plant sources of Vitamin C and contain antioxidants that make them a desirable food for humans, birds, and other animals. Wait…what? There’s a storm coming?!

Perhaps the greatest skill is being able to examine and interact with what is happening close to you—whoa, look at that Mullein flower—and being able to check in with the bigger picture—the prairie meadow is beautiful at this time of year, and the Maple Leaf hills must be spectacular in the Fall! Near and far. Present and future.

It also matters which direction you are looking…. During our hike up Hallaway Hill at Maplewood State Park, we were facing west, so we noticed the storm clouds building.

Did you know you can make a lemonade-like drink from the red berries of Staghorn Sumacs? Did you know you can eat the leaves and seeds of Broadleaf Plantains, either raw or cooked?

We finished our Hill hike, sensing that it would be our last hike of the day given the storm clouds, then we drove the five-mile Park Drive. It was a gravel/packed dirt road past a small campground and boat launch, then continued on a narrower, one-way trail. We stopped at a wildlife observation hut on Beaver Lake—no wildlife to be seen at that moment.

Farther down the road we saw a mama deer with her two spotted fawns who leapt away when they saw us.

On a hill overlooking Field Lake, we saw the sky getting darker and the clouds beginning to envelop the park. They were no longer on the horizon—the storm was imminent. A restored prairie on the banks of Field Lake had Leadplants in full bloom and Purple and White Prairie Clovers, their colors rich and vibrant with the darkening sky.

As we wound through the Maple forest on the rutted road, we were hoping to beat the rain. I knew by the map we were close to the end of the one-way road when we passed Cataract Lake. It looked like late evening instead of three in the afternoon—time through a cloudy lens or perhaps in a different realm.

We drove to see the other big lake of the Park—Beers Lake—and the campground by it. Rumbles of thunder and sprinkles of rain began to reach our ears and the windshield. A small pond by the road had a family of ducks swimming happily in the ripples and bubbles of the rainy water.

When we reached the end of the road at Beers Lake, there was one family still fishing on the pier and a lone Loon swimming and diving nearby. It wasn’t so dark anymore, and the roiling storm clouds had morphed into a consistent palette of gray from which the rain fell in a steady cadence. The ‘big storm’ part must have passed to the south of us. We drove back to the Trail Center, a small building with tables and chairs, maps and safety equipment. We ate our picnic dinner there as the rain fell.

With elevation and open prairie, we could easily see the storm clouds coming towards us. When we were driving through the Maple forest, all we could see was the darkness falling on the afternoon light. It’s shocking when we don’t see the storm clouds of life coming towards us. Sometimes there is no warning, even if we are scanning the horizon. All of a sudden we’re in the dark, not knowing, not prepared, not able to get our bearings. Other times, we see the billowing signs of an impending storm but ignore them. And still we get hit hard. When we notice the storm coming and believe it, we can make different choices, we can plan for the future, and we can ready ourselves, both physically and mentally. Like Dorothy, I landed in Oz after being swept up in the tornado—in this surreal place of bad and good, fantasy and reality, past and present. The land of Oz was my own brain and heart and being that I explored with the help of my guide and lots of courage. It took a while—for time is often warped in the midst of a storm—but I finally found the home of my-Self. It’s a place where I can do sky gazing and soul searching and immerse myself in the sweet details of life. There’s no place like it, you know.

Hanging on Lightly

July 31, 2022 by Denise Brake 4 Comments

What happens to your body when someone says, “Hang on tight!”? Usually your hands latch on to something and grip it tightly. Your muscles contract, often throughout your whole body. You ‘brace’ yourself for what’s to come, whether that’s for a physical wild ride or an emotional rollercoaster. There is an element of survival that takes over—your sympathetic nervous system is activated. Adrenaline is released, your pupils dilate, your heart beats faster, and you become hypervigilant. There are plenty of times in life when this response is the prudent thing to do—it can literally save your life.

Chris is back to short hikes—yay!—so we hiked up Hallaway Hill at Maplewood State Park in the western lakes region of Minnesota. The trail zig-zagged through mostly prairie in this part of the 9,200-acre park. Mid-summer wildflowers bloomed among the still-growing green grasses that had begun their blooming, too. Lavender-colored Wild Bergamot or Bee Balm was in all its glory, attracting bees and butterflies with its minty fragrance and tubular flowers.

It was not long before we noticed dragonflies darting around above the plants. It was a breezy day, and I noticed a colorful dragonfly holding on to a dried flower stalk. I thought to myself he must be hanging on for dear life in this wind with his three pairs of legs! Halloween Pennant Dragonflies (isn’t that a great name?!) alight and fly in a different way from most other dragonflies—they have a fluttery flight like a butterfly.

The wooly purple coats of Purple Prairie Clover are wrapped around the gray thimble head of the spikey flowers, belying the typical flower of the Pea family. But like most members of the Pea family, Prairie Clover can increase soil fertility by capturing nitrogen from the air and transferring it to the soil.

Purple Prairie Clover—host plant for the Dog Face butterfly

More and more of the Halloween Pennant Dragonflies were hanging on to grasses and dried flower stalks, some right by the trail. As I looked more closely at them, it seemed like they were very comfortable on their precarious-looking perches.

Black-eyed Susans brighten the prairie with their cheery ray flowers, and their seeds are favored food for Goldfinches and House Finches.

Black-eyed Susan—host plant for the Silvery Checkerspot butterflies

A larger, more traditional dragonfly with its black and silvery transparent wings is named Widow Skimmer. The male has a long powder blue abdomen and is thus named because he leaves (or widows) the female by herself when she lays her eggs just under the surface of the water. Other male dragonflies will fly with the female while she lays her eggs.

A large, crater-like mushroom captured rainwater and became a ‘watering hole’ for insects and small animals.

The coloring and veins of the dragonfly’s wings create intricate patterns, and their large compound eyes see 200 images per second with nearly 80% of their brain being dedicated to sight! They have specialized spines on their legs used as an ‘eyebrush’ to clean the surface of their compound eyes.

In our northern climate, the growing season is condensed into a relatively short amount of time, so fruit and seed development happens quickly. Signs of decline are already noticeable in the later part of July.

Again, like I noted in my last post, the Monarchs are few and far between anymore. In all the prairie we walked through, we only saw one Monarch. It was perched on its host plant—where eggs are laid and where the caterpillars eat and grow—the Common Milkweed.

Pointed-leaf Tick-trefoil (Beggar’s Lice) is a woodland plant with pretty pink flowers on long stalks that produce sticky seed pods that hang on to fur or clothing of passers-by.

Pointed-leaf Tick-trefoil—host plant for Silver-spotted Skipper butterflies

The silvery-gray color of Artemisia complements all the other prairie wildflowers and grasses.

I was surprised to see a whole Artemisia plant covered in bugs! The black creatures (Black Vine Weevils?) look like the ones who have invaded our house in the last month, and the big, black ants must be getting some sort of nutrition from them.

We ascended to the top of Hallaway Hill, once a popular ski hill in the 1950’s and ’60’s, even after the State Park was established in 1963. 196 vertical feet above Lida Lake gave us a view of the many lakes, the rolling Maple-Leaf hills, and of the storm clouds that were gathering to the west.

Dragonflies spend most of their life in the aquatic nymph stage—the larger ones from three to five years—but only live as an adult dragonfly for five weeks or less, some only for a few days. Their ‘flying’ days are limited.

Hanging on tightly is a way for us to survive—physically and emotionally. In fact, in our young years, it is a reflexive act to connect us with our caregivers for all of our dependent needs. When resources are scarce—food, shelter, safety, and love—we tend to hold on more tightly, even when doing so doesn’t get us those things we need and desire. But as a child and young adult, we don’t know any other way to do it. But what of the fleeting adult life of the dragonfly? The Halloween Pennants were hanging on lightly—not clenched but attached, not contracted but relaxed, not grasping but flowing. They embodied freedom—like an eagle soaring in the wind, like a feather floating through the air, like a leaf drifting on the water. Is it the culmination of their reproductive life that allows them to live out whatever days are left with such freedom? Or is it just a ‘mammalian’ thing to hold on so tightly? We can learn from the dragonflies. We can mature into hanging on lightly. We can brush the cobwebs from our eyes. We can be attached and relaxed. We can live day by each wonderous day, confident in our ability to rest when we need to and fly when we can.

Empty Homes

July 26, 2022 by Denise Brake 2 Comments

One fall day I looked out the kitchen window and saw a swarm of butterflies flying through the yard. We had a garden full of nectar-producing flowers, so we were used to seeing butterflies during the three seasons of blooming. But this was different. I walked outside and realized that they were no longer relaxed and meandering from flower to flower—they were on a mission—a Monarch migration mission to be exact. And while I stood there, the air filled with the orange– and black–winged beauties! They were everywhere! Some were close enough for me to touch, seeming to fly towards me, then up into the sky, above the tree tops, and beyond! It was awe–inspiring and joy–producing! Millions of Monarchs!

In a matter of minutes within the hour, they were gone, moving south in their annual migration from southern Canada and the northern Midwest, gathering all from the eastern United States, on to central Mexico where they spend the winter high in the mountains on the Oyamel Fir trees. Abies religiosa means ‘sacred fir.’ These trees and the wintering Monarchs require the same ecosystem for survival—cool and moist—which is now being threatened by our warming climate. Climate change, along with increased use in pesticides and herbicides, loss of northern habitat for Monarchs, and logging of the sacred firs have all contributed to the alarming news that was released this past week. The International Union for the Conservation of Nature has placed Monarch butterflies on the endangered list, just two steps from extinction, because of their fast-dwindling numbers. In just ten year’s time, the population of Monarchs in North America has declined between 22% and 72%, depending on the method of measurement. Other groups have seen even larger declines of the iconic butterfly. The most well–known and beautiful butterfly, once with a population in the billions, is headed towards extinction.

Loss of Monarch habitat in the north mirrors the declining number of acres of prairie, grassland, fence lines, and wetlands. There are statistics for these losses, but anyone who loves the prairie, who loves seeing cattle on grassland pastures, and who delights in a fence row of wildflowers has noticed the disheartening change in the last decade.

There is untold value in a prairie environment—home and food source for insects, birds, and mammals; erosion control; and carbon sequestration to name only a few. This time of year, the prairie displays a brilliant culmination of months of unseen root growth and a sea of green vegetative growth of grasses and wildflowers as they burst into flower and seed production. It is a beautiful sight! It was a good year for Butterfly Weed, a member of the Milkweed family. I have seen more of the bright orange flowers this year than I can ever remember.

Host plant for Gray Hairstreak and Monarch butterflies

Common Yarrow inconspicuously grows in most grassy places but is a dazzling background for Hoary Vervain’s sharply–toothed leaves and spikes of violet flowers.

Verbena stricta (Hoary Vervain)—verbena is Latin for ‘sacred plant’

And the grasses….each with their distinct–colored seedheads are the foundation of a healthy prairie.

Rough-fruited Cinquefoil with heart-shaped petals

In the acres and acres of prairie, including all the showy Butterfly Weed, I saw one Monarch. I was paying attention—awareness of dwindling numbers of Monarchs has been on my ‘radar’ for years now, and this year seems particularly bad for the numbers. The prairie had many Common Milkweeds, the primary host plant for Monarch caterpillars. Empty homes, waiting for the striped caterpillars to munch on their leaves, spin a cocoon, and produce another butterfly.

Evening Primrose is a night–blooming plant with buds that start to open at the end of the day and close up by noon of the next day, making them an unusual and enchanting wildflower.

Another favorite wildflower for butterflies is False Sunflower or Ox-eye Sunflower. The prairies that are planted and preserved in parks and natural areas are trying to bring back habitats for the butterflies, bees, and other creatures who depend on wildflowers and grasses for their survival. But is it enough?

My joy in witnessing a Monarch migration happened more than eight years ago—before I began writing my blog. Since that time, fewer butterflies of all kinds visited our gardens. I noticed fewer Monarchs on our hikes. It is a complicated, complex problem with no one in particular responsible for the solution. The statistics are jarring, and Nature-lovers feel sad and angry when they hear the news but powerless in the big picture of our world. Is it loss of habitat—we are personally leaving and cultivating all the Milkweeds we can—or are the populations of butterflies actually being killed by pesticides and by microwave radiation from cell towers that have proliferated in the last ten years? (please read the scientific research below) In civilizations and centuries past, plants have been seen and named as ‘sacred,’ just as all of creation has been deemed so by Christianity and other world religions. I am not an alarmist by nature, but the news of the rapid rate of decline of our favorite butterfly is cause for alarm. Because biologically, what is destroying butterflies, bees, and trees is destroying us, just at a slower pace. We are all connected with all of Nature. I don’t know what the answers are either, but I want all of us to be aware, concerned, and thinking about the big picture in our choices, our votes, and our advocacy. We don’t want any more empty homes.

Bees, Butterflies and Wildlife: Research on Electromagnetic Fields and the Environment

Protected

July 17, 2022 by Denise Brake Leave a Comment

One of my most instinctual and intentional qualities of being a parent, as I’m sure is true for most parents, was to protect my children. To protect is to preserve from harm, safeguard, shield; to keep secure from injury, damage, exposure, and destruction. It was a daunting task, and one that seems to be even more so in this day and age. The issue of how we protect our own children, those we know and love, and the children in our communities at large is complicated and emotionally-charged. Add to that who should do the protecting and from what we are protecting them, and the issue gets more muddied, more challenging, and more divisive. It seems like a simple matter—keep kids safe—but it is not.

When reading about Myre–Big Island State Park near Albert Lea, Minnesota, I was struck with them mentioning how the Big Island was protected from fires that had previously swept through the area. Big Island is 120 acres of hardwood forest that sits in the middle of Albert Lea Lake. A narrow causeway connects it to the ‘mainland.’ It is protected by water on all sides. We hiked around the island on a warm, muggy day. Maple trees are the predominant hardwood on the island and offered deep shade with their large palmate leaves. The water was hard to see from the trail in most areas, since the young Maples crowded the shore for sunlight.

It was a beautiful island forest that had been home for humans for over 9,000 years. Not only was it protected from fires, but it provided a secure place for its inhabitants with food, water, shelter, and a moat of safety.

The large Maple and Basswood trees were accompanied by Ash, Red Oak, and Elm trees. Ironwood was the main understory tree. There were many interesting trees in all stages of development, from seedling to decaying. I noticed an Artist’s Conk, a perennial fungus that often grows from a wound on a living tree. The white underside of this bracket fungus is used by artists to etch a drawing into, leaving a sepia-colored work of art! (Google it!)

Woodpeckers, wind, lightening, old age, sunscald, and insects have all made their marks on the trees of Big Island.

The undergrowth was dominated by Gooseberry bushes that had been ‘pruned’ by the grazing deer, despite the fact they have protective spines or thorns on them. The deer eat the tender new growth that is more palatable. I was also amazed at how many Jack-in-the-Pulpit plants were growing under the Gooseberries—perhaps the thorny Gooseberries shield them from damage or offer a symbiotic relationship of some sort.

As we walked, the sky grew cloudier and darker, and the air was so thick with moisture that my camera had a hard time focusing. We cut our hike a little short because of the weather, and in switching paths, we saw five deer, including two spotted fawns. The vigilant does stamped their feet and watched us carefully as they protected their fawns.

Caretaking mothers of all species have an innate drive to protect their young ones—one only needs to spend time with animal parents to witness their fierceness. But their and our determination to protect our children, despite our best effort, sometimes fails. Our children get hurt, exploited, harmed, or damaged by accidents, by bullies, by ignorant cultural practices, or by dark forces that impel people to act in anti-social ways. We cannot become immune to the damage that befalls our children, and we should take every step possible to safeguard their lives. Every step possible.

What Used to Be

July 10, 2022 by Denise Brake 2 Comments

There is always an interplay between change and holding steady. Not only does it play out in the overarching culture of the world but also in smaller community and relationship entities. But the most personal, most impactful, and most difficult interaction between change and holding steady happens inside each one of us. We have a desire for learning, a curiosity of the world around us, and an innate drive for ‘something new’—except when we don’t feel safe. Safety is our default system—our primitive brain takes over when we are threatened by anything—real or imagined. When that happens, curiosity, compassion for others, learning, and openness get shut out from our brain and body until we feel safe again. So what happens when the people around us and the media we consume continuously stoke our fears?

I am already a month behind in my posts—it used to be the beginning of June, and it used to be Spring. On our way home from our Duluth wedding weekend at the beginning of June, we stopped at Banning State Park. We didn’t have a great amount of time, Chris was still on ‘no hiking’ status from his hip surgery, and the mosquitoes were ravenous. But Emily and I braved a one and a half mile hike on the Quarry Loop trail that followed the beautiful Kettle River. The trail used to be a railroad.

There used to be a forest of towering Red and White Pines in this area that was logged in the mid-1800’s. The Kettle River was used to move logs to the St. Croix River and to mills. In 1892, the Hinkley Sandstone of the area began to be quarried, thus the railroad to haul it away to the Twin Cities and Duluth for building blocks and road pavers. Then the enormous Hinkley fire in 1894 took trees, lives, and losses for the railroad and quarry. What used to be.

Long before enormous trees and logging, desirable sandstone and quarrying, there used to be a sea here hundreds of millions of years ago. The silica and sand formed the rock that is now called Hinkley Sandstone. There used to be a glacier here tens of thousands of years ago that upon melting created Lake Superior and the Kettle River that formed along a fault line. What used to be.

But in the here and now, the Kettle River is a favorite place for experienced whitewater paddlers with Class III-V rapids named Blueberry Slide, Dragon’s Tooth, and Hell’s Gate.

What used to be—the quarry and railroad—is being taken over by Nature. Ferns, trees, grasses, and wildflowers have incorporated into the sandstone boulders and cliffs once again.

But there are ruins and remains of the Quarry still evident and still standing—the Rock Crusher and the Power House which contained a coal-fired steam generator and interestingly, an artesian well where ‘Sandstone’ water was bottled and sold as a side business to the quarry. What used to be.

Above the Hell’s Gate rapids on a level area once stood the town of Banning, established in 1896 and abandoned in 1912 when the quarrying boom was over. The town site is no longer visible—Mother Nature has covered up what used to be.

Precisely-spaced drill holes remain on this sandstone wall where black powder and slow-burning fuses would simultaneously blast a section of rock off the cliff.

This section of smooth rock wall was not quarried—it is called a ‘horst’ where a section of the earth’s crust is lifted along a fault line.

Strange Liverworts, like plastered fallen leaves, grow on the horst, and water drips from the cracks to nourish the plant life that found their unlikely place to grow.

While reading about the history of the Park, I was amazed that railroads, a town, hundreds of quarrymen, and numerous businesses had occupied the trails we were hiking and the forest that had re-grown. There is value in what used to be—many buildings still stand with foundations and walls made from Hinkley Sandstone. There is also value in looking back at what used to be—how it was accomplished, what mistakes were made, what the unacceptable costs were—in order to move forward in a different and better way. Holding steady is a form of safety, as are ‘the law of the land,’ guardrails, rules and norms, order, and peace. They help us get our bearings and feel safe, so we can be in the here and now with those around us. Change and holding steady are not opposable values and actions. Holding steady—safety—is the foundation from which we can be compassionate, be curious, learn and do new things. Do you know what makes you feel steady, open, and peaceful? Do that. Are you aware of who or what brings unfounded fear and stress to your life? Purge them. Fear is being used as a tool to manipulate people for political and financial purposes—one of the oldest tricks in the book. Don’t fall for it. In the ruins and remains of what used to be—in our collective past or our individual past—there is space for peace and renewal and a place to grow.

Big View, Small Water

June 19, 2022 by Denise Brake 2 Comments

It was a house with a view. I noticed the potholes in the driveway, the old sheds tucked into the trees, the railroad tracks just below the hill of the house, and why is there an old semi truck parked by the garage shed?! But all I could look at was the view—it was spectacular! Our Airbnb house for the Duluth wedding weekend sat on a hill overlooking miles and miles of Minnesota and Wisconsin forests. Somewhere below our sight line was the St. Louis River we had followed at Jay Cooke State Park earlier in the day. The Superior Hiking Trail and the Willard Munger State Trail wound through the trees in our view. The evening colors were rich and dusky as I stood on the deck and the sun dropped below the horizon. There was much to see and nothing to see in the vast forest that lay below us—much like the far-reaching prairies of the Dakotas that I love.

The house was compact yet roomy, comfortable, and nicely laid out, with seven large windows that allowed the big view to dominate the inside space. The color of the sky and trees had changed and brightened in the morning light. I couldn’t help but feel it was going to be a very good day!

We left Chris with the sunshine and the view—gratifying manna in its own right, and all one has to do is sit there, let it in, and allow it to heal and feed the body and soul. Passive rejuvenation. The rest of us walked down the gravel driveway lined with brilliant white Trillium flowers I had not noticed the day before. Had I missed their beauty as I noticed the potholes?

Fifty yards or so from the driveway was the parking lot and entrance for Mission Creek Parkway hiking and mountain biking trail. We crossed a bridge over the railroad, then another over the state bike trail and were soon on the path down a long, gradual slope. We had stepped backwards into Spring—the ferns were freshly unfurled and the trees were newly-leaved, casting a yellowish–green glow from the sparse canopy.

We continued down the slight slope until we reached a creek—Mission Creek—that meandered across and alongside the trail. After the big waters of the Mississippi and St. Louis Rivers and of course the almost infinite waters of Lake Superior, this small body of water seemed insignificant. Boulders and large rocks were scattered along the waterway creating its own tiny twist of bubbly rapids—trivial compared to the churning, voluminous rapids of the St. Louis River.

The water was brown with tannins, just like the big waters, but shallow and transparent. Waterplants lazily floated with the current, and minnows darted about, their shadows darkening the sienna mud bottom.

Wispy yellow-green beards of Meadow Rue flowers shook in the breeze, scattering the pollen in the hopes of germinating another woodland plant. Tender Blue Violets surrounded the spikey ball flowers of Wild Sarsaparilla (said with a cowboy’s western drawl, of course.)

The longer we followed and crossed the little creek, the more it became evident that it was a life-giving and life-supporting body of water, no matter how small. River Otter tracks led down from an old stone bridge through the mud to the water.

Thimbleberry bushes with their bright green palmate leaves grew along a sunny path, and in a couple of months, will produce ruby red domed berries.

Mosses remind us of how small things are important in the big view of life.

We left the small waters of Mission Creek and returned to the big view of our weekend dwelling. I saw a huge log building that I didn’t notice among the trees in the miles and miles of forest, and later found out it was a resort in Wisconsin. (Hidden in plain sight.)

On our last morning, a deer grazed around the railroad tracks as I watched from the windows—and soon she saw me. She lived in the big forest and was a patron of the small water of Mission Creek.

There are so many small things in life that we often overlook, deeming them trivial or insignificant. There are other things that are in plain sight, and we never even notice them. And while our brains cannot possibly register and keep track of ‘everything,’ I wonder what we miss or dismiss that is actually substantial and meaningful. The small water of Mission Creek was actually the water of life for the forest valley and all its inhabitants—all a part of the big view. Often when we think there is ‘nothing to see,’ there is actually much to see, and it is gratifying manna for our lives. And that makes for a very good day!

Follow the River

June 12, 2022 by Denise Brake Leave a Comment

They met on the River—the great Mississippi River—while on the rowing teams at University of St. Thomas. Anne had taken a circuitous route to St. Thomas after being accepted at another school and with other obstacles that reasonably would have steered her away. But something compelled her to pursue it. And to those of us who know her, she is a force. It was there she met her friend Erik who was introduced to us via Facetime when Anne was visiting—by then, more than just a friend. Anne worked at Star Lake wilderness camp with our kids—always ready for an adventure with Nature or with people and preferably with both.

Anne and Erik were married last weekend at a ceremony overlooking Lake Superior in Duluth. They had just returned to Minnesota after a long stint at Berkeley where Erik had gotten his doctorate and Anne had advocated for women in sports—planning and participating in marathons, triathlons, hiking, and most unbelievable to me, she had swum from the island of Alcatraz to the California shore! She is a force!

On our way to Duluth for the weekend, we stopped at Jay Cooke State Park where the tumultuous St. Louis River winds through the Northwoods towards Lake Superior. We crossed the Swinging Bridge—the 5th iteration since the original was built in 1924. Floodwaters have destroyed the bridge numerous times—the Civilian Conservation Corps rebuilt it in 1934 and again in 1940. The last damaging flood occurred in 2012 at the highest level ever recorded, and once again the bridge was restored.

The water was brown with tannins and white-capped with the furious flow over rocks, a raucous rootbeer float of a river. Standing on the Swinging Bridge was exhilarating with the cacophonous water ringing in our ears and flowing under our feet!

Emily and I left the bridge and followed the River trail, a vestige of the canoe portage that had been used by Native Americans, fur traders, explorers, and missionaries for centuries past. The St. Louis River was a critical link between the Mississippi River waterways to the west and Lake Superior and the other Great Lakes to the east. We were walking on history.

And while the River continued to tumble over the rocks on one side of us, the forest brought calm and quiet. In Spring form, as Winter was not long departed from this area, the ferns were just unfurling their ‘fiddleheads.’

Sustaining food for animals and people alike—Wild Strawberries and Blueberries—were blooming and will soon produce fruit.

The water was calmer in areas between the large rock formations that had pooled from the Spring flood waters, but the piles of logs and debris on top of the rocks and even up on our trail were evidence of the power and might of the rushing water.

Delicate beauty that curves on stems of nodding Yellow Trout Lilies and Yellow Lady’s Slippers is sometimes overlooked or unseen on the bustling path of adventure and advancement. Looking closely, one sees the light and the shadow.

The rocks have a billion-years-old story to tell, complete with sand and seas, faults and heaves, volcano lava, and icy glaciers. The tilted rocks are slate and were quarried near this location in the late 1800’s, early 1900’s.

Stripes of a hidden Jack-in-the-Pulpit flower mimic the stripy leaves of the plant behind it—all a story of light and shadow, design and texture.

Following the River can be rough at times and navigating it impossible, but if you keep at it, you find a bridge that is high above the rough waters and will connect the two sides.

Anne and Erik found one another on the Mississippi River and have rowed and flowed with the river ever since. They have already weathered the rough waters of graduate school and cross-country moves, yet they have many more obstacles in front of them. I know they will design an interesting life for themselves, cognizant of the light and the shadows in themselves, one another, and the people surrounding them. May they always remember and be able to count on the family who came before them. May they stop and notice the delicate beauty in one another and in the world around them. May they be nourished by good food, knowledge, great friends, and much love. May they find the bridges necessary to get over the rough waters and to connect with one another. And if a bridge is washed out, rebuild and restore. An old adage advises that if one is lost, find and follow a river. It will bring you back to safety, to people who love you, and to the place you need to be. I think Anne already knew that.

Peace of the Pine Forest

May 29, 2022 by Denise Brake 5 Comments

I’ve been crying a lot lately—not for me and my station on this good, green Earth, but for other people. I cried for the victims of Putin’s war—the mothers and children who fled their homes, the fathers and brothers who stayed behind to fight, the old and infirmed who couldn’t flee and were bombed to death, and for every lost life and destroyed city. The tears escape my eyes when I watch the news or see the headlines—it is my knowing that what I am witnessing is antithetical to Goodness. Last week it was for the grocery shoppers in Buffalo, New York who were targeted and killed because of their skin color. This week, the tears flowed again for the young students and teachers at Uvalde, Texas. It could literally happen at any school at any time. Even the mass shootings happen so frequently that the mourning for the one before has hardly begun before it is ‘lost’ to the coverage of the newest one. Not to mention all the other, pervasive deaths by violence. Not to mention the perverse political rhetoric around the ‘reasons’ for the deaths. It is soul-crushing.

I know for sure that the fallout from each one of these violent losses of life is far-reaching and will be long-lived. Many of the victims, the families, the first responders, and the witnesses will carry the burden of trauma with them for their lifetime. The price we as individual persons and as a society pay for violence is unbelievably staggering. In the midst of a political culture that is not doing all it can to help prevent such tragedies, an individual person can feel overwhelmed and impotent in the face of it all. What do we do? Let me begin with a story that presented me with an important lesson.

Seventeen years ago when my father-in-law died, my brother-in-law sent a message to us that ended with “Peace be with you.” I was already in a state of activation—death, grief, loss, change—and I remember exclaiming rather indignantly to Chris, ” How can we have peace at a time like this?!” I did not understand at the time that my brother-in-law was offering a gift to each of us individually—that in spite of our loss and grief, we could have the comfort of peace. I did not accept that gift at the time—I didn’t know how—but since that time, I have not forgotten that offering. I have tried again and again and again to find peace within myself in the midst of my own pain and loss and of that of the world’s. A substantial part of finding peace in a time of crisis or a reaction to it, is learning to calm down our activated bodies—and when a person has an ingrained trauma response, it takes lots of practice to change. One of my practices to calm down and find peace is to go to the woods—I did it intuitively as a child, and I do it intentionally as an older adult. I find peace in the Pine forest.

So we went to Warner Lake County Park where I left Chris and his healing hip to sit beside the lake. He could see the Pine forest across the water. He was in the midst of the noise and exuberance of young adults who were already free for the summer and were anxious to sunbathe and swim in the chilly lake water. I tried to appreciate their exuberance even as I gladly walked away from their noise. Come walk with me into the forest.

According to florgeous.com, Violets symbolize honesty, protection, dreams, healing, and remembrance. May it be so. Peace of the Pine forest be with you.

Something Old, Something New

May 22, 2022 by Denise Brake 8 Comments

A couple of big things have happened in the last two weeks—we celebrated an old marriage, and Chris got a new hip! The hip came first—I am just amazed at the technology that a robot can help the surgeon take out an old, damaged joint and replace it with a new one that works better. Along with the fact the person walks out the door just hours later! Wow! But just as miraculous is forty years of marriage! It’s a relatively old marriage, though perhaps more middle-aged when I think of my friends who have crossed the sixty-year marriage mark. We looked at pictures from that day forty years ago when we were new adults, newlyweds, new partners. It was a sweet and wonderful day!

Hip recovery requires care, some new equipment, patience on both our parts, practice of therapy exercises, pillows, and ice. This second phase is super important to make sure the excellence of the first phase remains. So we c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y went on an outing this week, packing up the needed equipment for Chris to sit under the old giant Pines at Belle Prairie Park while I took a hike. He looked out over Old Man River whose water overflowed its banks with Spring flooding. Something old—the old River reminds us and ties us to the past—the hard times and the good times.

Something new. New leaves. New flowers. So tender and sweet and pristine. Hope for the future.

Something borrowed. The beavers were busy using the floodwaters to their advantage, borrowing the young trees to make their home. It’s easier to move logs in water than across land. They are building for a long, happy life.

Spring flowers fit for a wedding! Wood Anemone is no flash-in-the-pan flower. It takes a single plant five years or longer before flowering! Commitment and tenacity.

The marsh and the forest are a combination of Old and New. The marsh is always ready to accept the Spring floodwaters, year after year, which in turn nourishes the lovely, brilliant Marsh Marigolds. Their buttercup flowers and glossy, heart-shaped leaves are a swath of sunshine through the Spring forest.

Old bark on old tree trunks shows the signs and scars of age and wear. Living long takes its toll, even on trees. Right beside them grow the young ones with smooth, gray bark—a long life ahead of them. And both get new leaves every year. Renewal is for everyone!

Something blue. Violets were scattered along the trail, warding off evil and giving me nods of good luck.

Surprises. Both of these surprises could be seen from far away at this time of year—before the leaves offer a shield or camouflage. An Oriole nest, a marvel of construction—does it house a nest full of eggs?

As bright as the Marsh Marigolds was a Scarlet Tanager, though with flaming red feathers and contrasting black wings. A handsome gem in the Spring forest!

Then back to the Mississippi River with flowering Wild Plums growing along its banks. The big island trees had their feet in the flood waters, as the new foliage began to cover their impressive Winter silhouettes.

“Ol’ man river just keeps rollin’ along.” Oscar Hammerstein

The wedding tradition of ‘something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue’ incorporates values and qualities that we wish for every new couple. It honors the long river of the past and the people who came before us, it encourages hope and prosperity for the future, it advises to learn lessons from the people who have already traveled that path, and wishes good luck—to do good and avoid evil. All four values are enveloped in love. For forty years, Chris and I have committed to these values. We have seen hard times and good times with surprises of both. With the scars and signs of age, we know there is always renewal and along with it, sweet hope, like nectar for our souls. We have learned that the old builds the new—what was is the foundation for what’s to come—whether of ideas, emotions, mistakes, or actual physical manifestations. We keep rolling along, building our long, happy life together.

Walking in Sun Sparkles

May 8, 2022 by Denise Brake 2 Comments

Me making decisions is an excruciating exercise for most of the people around me who do so ‘normally’ or God forbid, quickly. This decision-making can be about buying something or doing something or getting someone to do a repair or whatever. It takes me a long time to decide. It’s part of the fall-out of my perfectionism, I think—I’m afraid I will make the ‘wrong’ decision. So I look at things, read endless reviews, think about it, wonder if the quality is ‘good enough,’ question the future utility of the object, look at it again, think about the pros and cons, wonder if I have enough energy to do something, think about the ramifications, and the craziest of all, wonder what other people would do or will think. It’s exhausting just reading about the process, isn’t it?!

Mother Nature seems to have been in my indecisive mode when it came to Spring this year—she allowed the snow to melt, then made it snow; warmed things up, then froze things; showed the tiniest bit of green, then brown, brown, brown. But we no longer have to search for Spring—Mother Nature is all in on the Spring decision! It was a long time coming, but Spring is bursting forth everywhere! With the snow melt, ice melt, and Spring rains, the Mississippi River has overflowed its banks. When it comes to wildfires and floods, though we most often think of them in negative ways, there is a time and place for each of them. Fires and floods have been an integral part of our ecosystem since the beginning and bring benefits to the plants that inhabit the places that are affected. A floodplain is low lying ground around a river that periodically floods. It is rich with river sediments and nutrients and has a diverse and abundant plant population. As I walked along the River at Mississippi River County Park, I could see the flooding of lowlands and islands.

With the water and nutrients from flooding, and the warm sun of Spring, vegetation was springing from the ground. The trio of leaves of Trillium were unfurling on their long red stems—soon a single flower with three petals will emerge from the foliage for a short period of time until the whole plant dies back for the rest of the year.

The early-blooming Spring Ephemerals have an accelerated growth cycle, taking advantage of the sunshine that filters down before the trees produce their leaves. Dutchman Breeches like to grow on the drier embankments by the River.

Bloodroots were in their full glory! Their single leaf with scalloped lobes wraps like a blanket around a single flower. Often the flower blooms before the leaf unfolds.

Gooseberry shrubs are one of the first to leaf out, and the spotted leaves of White Trout Lilies carpeted the forest floor, where a week ago it was brown.

A few had begun to bloom, and the bees were already gathering pollen and sipping nectar from them.

Hairy Wild Ginger was also unfurling from its underground sleep. The low-lying red flowers were still in tight buds.

The backwaters of the Mississippi—those ponds and streams that often stay filled year-round—were also flooded. I crossed a bridge that had streams of water on both sides that I jumped across. Turtles had their sunning logs poking into the water, and when I got too close, they plopped into the pond leaving only air bubbles behind.

I thought the inland trail would be passable, but very soon after the bridge, water spilled over it. The first ‘puddle’ had an edge of vegetation and a stick that helped me pass with only a little mud on my shoes.

I spotted a Great Blue Heron in the flooded area beside the trail and knelt down to get his picture—what a handsome bird! He walked among the sun sparkles and red Maple flowers that floated on the water.

When I stood up, he flew a bit farther away where I could see his long legs, and I realized how deep the water was where he walked in the flowers and sparkles.

The next trail ‘puddle’ was long and too deep to skirt by. I realized that I wasn’t going to get through without getting my feet wet—so into the flood water I walked. It was warmer than I expected at this time of year. I must have walked through four or five flood puddles before I got to higher ground. I had walked this path many times before but never in water up to my knees!

At the end of the last flood puddle, I found a downy feather, half white, half gray, among the debris and Maple flowers. Smiling to myself, I joyfully celebrated that Spring was really here!

My indecisive decision-making is time and energy consuming, and I had an ally in Mother Nature this Spring. But like Mother Nature’s all-in commitment to Spring this week, once I make a decision, I rarely change my mind or regret the choice I made. I’m still trying to hone down my process. In certain areas of my life, I am able to make faster decisions with confidence—like the Great Blue Heron, I stepped into the flood waters without deliberation. There is a time and place for everything under heaven. In our limited thinking (compared to the Universe), we often judge things as good or bad, wise or foolish, right or wrong, and yet we don’t see the whole picture—that fire can rejuvenate, that flood waters can fuel growth and sustain lives, and that we can joyfully celebrate all the seasons of our lives.

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